A Fire Still Burns
by vampyr-eternal
Summary: A girl, having grown up too fast, contemplates a way out. Will Peter Pan provide it? One shot


Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning. These things weren't supposed to work, they weren't supposed to be real, but what if they were? If I tried now, could I make it? Soar across the open night sky, fly all night and land on that enchanted isle come morning? Could I do it, if I jumped? Or would I simply fall? Take that leap of faith and fall this 200ft to the water below? Do I even have that faith? Neverland, a place where you never have to grow up. Well I grew up a long time ago. Ripped from my childhood and thrown into a life I never wanted, couldn't live. The land of fairytales was never to be mine, no stories, no hugs. Did that mean I was too old for Neverland? Physically I was 14, how old was Wendy when she went? I can't even remember, it was too long ago, too long since I was read the story, too long since the magic lived within me, too long since the lips that spoke those enchanted words were taken away irrevocably. Too long alone. Grief is a powerful force, too powerful for the child I was and the damage done that day has haunted me ever since. So now I stand here, on the brink, contemplating the impossible, imagining a world I know doesn't exist, and praying that all I know is wrong.

"Second star to the right, straight on 'til morning."

I whispered the words out loud, fixing my eyes on said star as I did so. You didn't grow up there but could it turn back time? Could it give me my childhood back? Could it give me 'her' back? Probably not. But a world of magic, of eternal childhood, surely it could give me peace?

I was grasping at straws, clinging to any shred of hope. The pain raged within me but I didn't want this, I didn't want this end, I just wanted an end to the pain of her loss, I wanted a new world, a new life, a new childhood.

"You know, people usually learn to fly from much closer to the ground, that way if they fall, no harm done."

His voice, so sudden and unexpected, shocked me out of my reverie, had his hand not grabbed my wrist I would have fallen, and never would have made sense of the sight that now met my eyes. As it was I was stunned. He was a boy of around ten years old, a darling of a child with blonde hair and blue eyes. His clothes appeared to be made of summer leaves and vines, but looked incredibly resilient. He also had a sword strapped to his belt and was currently balancing precariously on the edge of the railing.

"So you're either very brave, very stupid, or you managed to get hold of some Fairy Dust before. Which is it?"

His smile was contagious, just his presence shone some light into my heart.

"None of the above." I said quietly.

"A riddle?" He exclaimed, jubilantly, sitting down, impossibly, crossed legged on the thin railing. "So, stood on a bridge, but not brave, not stupid and never had Fairy Dust before? Hmm, now this is a tricky one."

He was silent for a few minutes before suddenly jumping to his feet.

"I got it! You've never had Fairy Dust before but you've got some now!"

"No." I said, smiling at his enthusiasm.

"Huh." He said surprised before beginning to pace in mid air.

Deep down I knew I shouldn't just be accepting this, for all my thoughts before I hadn't truly believed in him, I'd simply been clutching at straws that there was hope. Yet now here he was, as large as life, pacing in mid-air 200ft above a river, deep in thought over the so-called 'riddle' of why I was about to jump.

"You believe in Neverland completely so you're going to jump despite not having any Fairy Dust?" He said sceptically. "Because that would be pretty stupid, you can't fly without Fairy Dust, and you look a little old to be believing in Neverland that much."

I couldn't help but laugh at grimace on his face as he said that last sentence, like fourteen was ancient.

"Wrong again." So now I was teasing him, what was going on?

"Hmmm." He'd stopped pacing now and was stood studying me with his hands on his hips, still suspended out over the edge of the river.

"This is one tough riddle." He said, looking completely perplexed now.

"Do you give up?" I asked him, really getting into the spirit of the game now.

"No." He retorted and began pacing again, quicker though this time.

After a few minutes he threw up his hands and sat down cross-legged again.

"Okay I give up, what's the answer?"

"Don't I get some kind of reward for setting a riddle you can't answer?" I felt hope swell in my chest, real hope, the kind I hadn't had in a long, long time.

He was on his feet again in a flash, irritated, giving the riddle one more go, but it was hopeless. How was a boy, from the land of eternal youth and happiness, supposed to understand what I was doing stood on the railing of a bridge in the middle of the night?

"Okay, what do you want?" He asked, resignedly.

"A trip to Neverland." My voice was so quiet I'm surprised he heard me. I never expected him to say yes, why should things suddenly start going right now?

"Oh is that all?" He said, his previous jovial manner returning. "Okay then, one trip to Neverland coming up, but first you've got to tell me the answer."

"I wanted to jump." I answered, just as quietly as my last statement.

"To fly?" He asked, still confused.

"No. I didn't believe I could fly, I didn't really believe in you."

"You wanted to jump, but not fly?" His confusion was plain on his face. "But you would have fallen." Childhood simplicity at it's best.

"I know."

"You would have drowned."

"I know."

"Why would you want to do that?"

"To get away from this world." There it was, the bare truth of it.

"Oh now that I can understand. But there are much better ways to do that. Come to Neverland! You get to stay young forever…" He looked at me critically. "Well you get to stay young-ish forever anyway, and you can play with the Lost Boys and tell us all stories and swim with the mermaids, well actually maybe that's not such a good idea, they didn't like Wendy too much, but maybe they'll like you, and you can come fight the pirates with us, Hook's not really dead, but he's still cranky from us almost feeding him to the crocodile, and I'm sure you can learn to fight even though you are so old." His enthusiasm was beyond infectious. I could feel the strains of this world falling away already, he'd given me hope, a new life, one without the pain of this one, a chance to be a real child again, a chance at happiness. I felt a huge grin spread out over my face.

"Well what are you waiting for? Come on." He said, flying upwards a few feet.

"Erm, Fairy Dust?" I said.

"Oh yeah, Tink! Where is that Fairy? Tinkerbelle!!!"

Immediately I heard a slight tinkling by my ear and turned my head to see a curious fairy playing with one of the curls in my hair.

"There you are!" Pan said. "Cover her in Fairy Dust, she's coming to Neverland."

I couldn't help but laugh at his excitement. Tinkerbelle however was less convinced. She looked me up and down, no doubt taking in my age, then she crossed her arms and shook her head.

"Tink, she's still young. Ish. Come on."

Tinkerbelle simply shook her head again and turned her back on him.

"Oh come on Tink, she's older so she'll know more stories!"

That was all it took. When the little Fairy turned around she had a massive grin on her face and proceeded to cover me in Fairy Dust. Enough to make me sneeze violently and fall off the railing. Thankfully I fell backwards and so only managed to bruise my back as I hit the pavement. I thanked my lucky stars I hadn't fallen forwards. I opened my eyes to find Pan hovering over me.

"You're supposed to think happy thoughts before trying to fly you know?"

The smile died on my face. Happy thoughts were few and far between for me, the prospect of a new life in Neverland was an extremely happy thought, but I didn't think the destination would help me attain the means. Instead I thought back, way back, as far as my memory went, to my mother. I saw her smile, felt her arms around me, remembered how she was before that tragic night that took her away from me forever. But she was always there, in my memory, her smile would never leave me, and it was that smile that was my happy thought. That smile that lifted me off the ground and carried me all the way across the night sky to the isle of everlasting youth, where I was met with many more smiles. Smiles that would last forever, and not just in memory.

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